It is about to start …

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This guy comes home from work and sits in his favourite chair, he says to his wife, “Honey, it is about to start, please can you get me a beer.”

A short while later after finishing the beer, he asks again “It is about to start very soon, please can you get me one more beer.”

A short while later he goes again “It is about to start any minute, please can you get me just one more beer.”

A few moments later he goes “It is going to start any second, please please could you get me just one last beer.”

And she goes, “I have 3 kids to bath, a meal to cook for you, a house to clean …”

And he goes, “Oy vey, it has already started.”

Local is … where ?

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Getting a film to market must be one of the toughest challenges in the world. Competing on the world stage is overwhelming. Going up against all the big budget Hollywood films is a monster exercise. Getting an indie film released in the USA must one the hardest things you could ever try to do; now imagine getting a non-American indie film out there – wow, talk about a big mountain to climb! Yes, competing in the arts is not easy: there are very few winners and lots and lots of losers.

When you go to a cinema or a book shop or a CD store, you don’t ask to see the international products or the local stuff, etc. You simply want to check out what’s hot – you want the best. Your leisure time is precious. Simply put, you don’t want to waste your time with something that is average or mediocre. Then, consider that South Africa is not a big film going country – it is not a big part of our culture. Sports, on the other hand, is all everyone talks about. So, how then does one get a local film to stand out? The chances of success are slim in the film business at best. And when it comes to SA films, well, it is even more difficult. Then, when you consider how low the cinema ticket prices are here compared to the rest of the world, and all the other factors, well, you have better odds just going to a casino (financially speaking that is).

I love storytelling, and the creative process, and inspiring people, and capturing imaginations, and magic. But if your business is that of storytelling, then it needs to be sustainable (like for any other business). If we keep losing money in our local film industry then we will eventually hit a brick wall. Yes, yes, I am stating the obvious, but we see the vast majority of our local movies losing every cent so I am confused. Perhaps there is no brick wall. Perhaps there is just endless money to burn. I certainly don’t get it.

Choreography

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If life/comedy/magic is about “timing”, then choreography is the art of making “timing” look impromptu when it actually has been planned (where timing = knowing when to do the sleight, body movement, ask question, make joke, etc.). I’d attribute at least 50% of how my close-up magic “works” to choreography – the art of making timing look effortless (when it is actually planned). – Marcel Oudejans

Great truths about growing old

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1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.

4) You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

5) It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

6) Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.

7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.