David Letterman’s Top Ten Reasons Why Golf Is Better than Sex

#10 … A below par performance is considered damn good.

#9 … You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a couple of beers.

#8 … It’s much easier to find the sweet spot.

#7 … Foursomes are encouraged.

#6 … You can still make money doing it as a senior.

#5 … Three times a day is possible.

#4 … Your partner doesn’t hire a lawyer if you play with someone else.

#3 … If you live in Florida , you can do it almost every day.

#2 … You don’t have to cuddle with your partner when you’re finished.

#1 … When your equipment gets old you can replace it!

CONFUCIUS FOR ADULTS

OK to let a fool kiss you, but not OK to let a kiss fool you.

Kiss is merely shopping upstairs for real merchandise downstairs.

Better to lose a lover than love a loser.

Man with broken condom often called Daddy.

Drunken man’s words often sober man’s thoughts.

Marriage is same as bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.

Viagra just like Disneyland …… one hour wait for 2-minute ride.

Joke is just like sex. Neither any good if you don’t get it.

Virginity like bubble on stream of life, one prick, and it’s gone forever.

Man who eat many prunes, get good run for money.

Baseball is wrong: Man with four balls cannot walk.

Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.

It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

Man who fish in other man’s well often catch crabs.

Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.

Man who leaps off cliff, jumps to conclusion.

A Lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!