Under the bed

A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note saying, “I’ve had enough and left you so don’t bother coming after me.”, and hid under the bed to see his reaction.

After a short while the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into the bedroom. She could see him walking towards the dresser and pick up the note. After a few minutes he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone, “She’s finally gone … yeah I know, about bloody time. I’m coming to pick you up so put on the sexy French shit. I love you”.

He hung up, grabbed his keys and left.

She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed, seething with rage and with tears in her eyes she grabbed the note to see what he wrote;, “I can see your feet. Stop being ridiculous. We’re outta bread. Put the coffee on … back in 5”.

Yodeling’s origin

Have you ever wondered where and how yodeling began?

Many years ago a man was traveling through the mountains of Switzerland. Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere to sleep. He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night.

The farmer told him that he could sleep in the barn.  As the story goes, the farmer’s daughter asked her father, ‘Who is that man going into the barn?’

‘That fellow traveling through needs a place to stay for the night, so I told him he could sleep in the barn,’ said the farmer.

The daughter said, ‘Perhaps he is hungry.’ So she prepared a plate of food for him and then took it out to the barn. About an hour later, the daughter returned. Her clothing was disheveled and there was straw in her hair. Straight up to bed she went.

The farmer’s wife was very observant. She then suggested that perhaps the man was thirsty. She fetched a bottle of wine and took it out to the barn! And she did not return for an hour. Her clothing was askew, her blouse buttoned incorrectly. She also headed straight to bed.

The next morning at sunrise the man in the barn got up and continued on his journey, waving to the farmer as he left.

When the daughter awoke and learned that the visitor was gone, she broke into tears. ‘How could he leave without even saying goodbye,’ she cried. ‘We made such passionate love last night!’

‘What?’ shouted the father, as he angrily ran out of the house looking for the man, who by now was halfway up the mountain.

The farmer screamed up at him, ‘I’m going to get you! You had sex with my daughter!’

The man looked back down from the mountainside, cupped his hand next to his mouth, and yelled out ….. “LAIDTHEOLADEETOO”.