My point exactly

An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up …

1

The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said, “Things are great and I’ve never felt better.”

I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.

“So what do you think about that Doc ?”

2

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story.

“I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season.”

4

“One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water’s edge.”

3

“He realized he’d left his gun at home and so he couldn’t shoot the magnificent creature. Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went ‘bang, bang’. Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.”

5

“Now, what do you think of that ?”, asked the doctor.

The 86-year-old said, “Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.”

The doctor replied, “My point exactly.”

What’s the password … ?

Computer: Your password has expired. You must register a new one.

User: Did anyone discover my password and hack my computer?

Computer: Your password has expired. You must get a new one.

User: Why then do I need a new one as that one seems to be working pretty good?

Computer: They automatically expire every 30 days.

User: Can I use the old one and just re-register it?

Computer: You must get a new one.

User: I don’t want a new one as that is one more thing for me to remember.

Computer: You must get a new one.

User: OK, roses

Computer: You must use more letters.

User: OK, pretty roses

Computer: You must use at least one numeric character.

User: OK, 1 pretty rose

Computer: You cannot use blank spaces.

User: OK, 1prettyrose

Computer: You must use additional characters.

User: OK, 1fuckingprettyrose

Computer: You must use at least one capital letter.

User: OK, 1FUCKINGprettyrose

Computer: You cannot use more than one capital letter in a row.

User: OK, 1Fuckingprettyrose

Computer: You need additional characters.

User: OK, 1FUCKINGprettyroseshovedupyourassifyoudon’tgivemeaccessrightfuckingnow

Computer: You cannot use that password as it is already being used.

Perfect round

Rabbi Ben Simmons was fed up with his congregation. So, he decided to skip the services on Yom Kippur, the holiest day on the Jewish calendar, and instead go play golf.

Moses was looking down from heaven and saw the rabbi on the golf course. He naturally reported it to God. Moses suggested God punish the rabbi severely.

As he watched, Moses saw the rabbi Ben Simmons playing the best game he had ever played. The rabbi got a hole-in-one on the toughest hole on the course and then again on the next hole.

Moses turned to God and asked, ‘I thought you were going to punish him. Do you call this punishment?’

God replied, ‘Who can he tell?’