Leadership

If, when you think of leadership, you see your name and face surrounded by lights and awards, you have misunderstood what leadership is all about.

Leadership is about others.  It is only after you have invested sufficient time and resources in developing and growing others that the plaudits arrive – because their efforts and effectiveness reflect directly on you.

Before you are a leader, success is all about growing yourself. When you become a leader, success is all about growing others.

Jack Welch

All aboard …

Letter to British Rail

Gentlemen, your trains are too full and I am tired of standing all the way to work. I think your transportation is worse than that which people enjoyed 2000 years ago.

Patrick Finnegan.

Answer form BR:

Dear Mr. Finnegan, we acknowledge your letter on the shortcomings of our service but believe you are somewhat confused in your history. The only mode of transport 2000 years ago was by foot.

Sincerely, British Rail.

Reply from Finnegan:

Gentlemen, it is you who are confused about history. I refer you to the Bible, Kings chapter 9: “Balaam rode to town on his ass”.

That is something I have not been able to do on your train for the last two years.

Frank Feldman

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.”

Passenger: “Who?”

Cabbie: “Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to Frank Feldman every single time.”

Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”

Cabbie: “Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have hear him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.”

Passenger: “Sounds like he was something really special.”

Cabbie: “There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right.”

Passenger: “Wow. some guy then.”

Cabbie: “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.”

Passenger: “An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?”

Cabbie: “Well, I never actually met Frank. He died. I’m married to his %@#$%!# widow.”

The Jewish Taxi Driver

A drunk woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City.

The taxi driver, who happened to be an old Jewish man, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab.

She said to him, “What’s wrong with you honey? Haven’t you ever seen a naked woman before?”

The old man said “Lady, I’m not staring at you, I am telling you, det vould not be proper vair I come from”.

She said, “Well, if you’re not staring at my boob’s sweetie, what are you doing then?”

He said, “Vell, I am looking and I’m looking, and I am tinking to myself, vair in da hell is dis lady keeping de money to pay for dis ride?”.

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