Chutzpah

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A little Yiddisher Bobba gets on the crowded bus and discovers that she doesn’t have correct change for the fare.

The driver tries to be firm with her, but she places her hand delicately over her chest and murmurs, “If you knew what I had, you’d be nicer to me.”

He caves in and lets her ride for free.

She tries to push her way down the crowded aisle, but people won’t move over for her. She finally places her hand delicately over her chest and murmurs, “If you knew what I had, you’d be nicer to me.”

The crowd parts like the Red Sea and lets her down the aisle.

She gets to the back of the bus where there are no seats and looks significantly at several people, none of whom take the hint and get up to offer her their seat.

Once again she places her hand delicately over her chest and murmurs, “If you knew what I had, you’d be nicer to me.”

Several people jump up and insist that she sit down and ride in comfort.

A woman who had been watching all this leaned over and said to her, “I know this is none of my business, but what is it that you’ve got, anyway?”

The little Yiddisher Bobba smiled and said, “Chutzpah.”

Makes Complete Sense

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A few years ago in a small town robbers entered a bank and one of them shouted: “Don’t move! The money belongs to the bank. Your lives belong to you. Immediately all the people in the bank laid on the floor quietly and without panic.

This is an example of how the correct wording of a sentence can make everyone change their world view.

One woman lay on the floor in a provocative manner. The robber approached her saying, “Ma’am, this is a robbery not a rape. Please behave accordingly.”

This is an example of how to behave professionally, and focus on the goal.

While running from the bank the young robber (who had a college degree) said to the older robber (who barely finished elementary school): “Hey, maybe we should count how much we stole.” The older man replied: “Don’t be stupid. It’s a lot of money so let’s wait for the news to be told how much money was taken from the bank.”

This is an example of how life experience is more important than a degree.

After the robbery, the manager of the bank said to his accountant: “Let’s call the cops.” The accountant said: “Wait, before we do that let’s add the $800,000 to the robbery of that we took to ourselves a few months ago and just say that it was stolen.”

This is an example of taking advantage of an opportunity.

The following day it was reported in the news that the bank was robbed in of $ 3 million. The robbers counted the money, but they found only $1 million so they started to grumble. “We risked our lives for $1 million, while the bank’s management robbed two million dollars without blinking? Maybe it’s better to learn how to work the system, instead of being a simple robber.”

This is an example of how knowledge can be more useful than power.

Moral : Give a person a gun, and he can rob a bank. Give a person a bank, and he can rob everyone.