Computer: Your password has expired. You must register a new one.

User: Did anyone discover my password and hack my computer?

Computer: Your password has expired. You must get a new one.

User: Why then do I need a new one as that one seems to be working pretty good?

Computer: They automatically expire every 30 days.

User: Can I use the old one and just re-register it?

Computer: You must get a new one.

User: I don’t want a new one as that is one more thing for me to remember.

Computer: You must get a new one.

User: OK, roses

Computer: You must use more letters.

User: OK, pretty roses

Computer: You must use at least one numeric character.

User: OK, 1 pretty rose

Computer: You cannot use blank spaces.

User: OK, 1prettyrose

Computer: You must use additional characters.

User: OK, 1fuckingprettyrose

Computer: You must use at least one capital letter.

User: OK, 1FUCKINGprettyrose

Computer: You cannot use more than one capital letter in a row.

User: OK, 1Fuckingprettyrose

Computer: You need additional characters.

User: OK, 1FUCKINGprettyroseshovedupyourassifyoudon’tgivemeaccessrightfuckingnow

Computer: You cannot use that password as it is already being used.

Rabbi Ben Simmons was fed up with his congregation. So, he decided to skip the services on Yom Kippur, the holiest day on the Jewish calendar, and instead go play golf.

Moses was looking down from heaven and saw the rabbi on the golf course. He naturally reported it to God. Moses suggested God punish the rabbi severely.

As he watched, Moses saw the rabbi Ben Simmons playing the best game he had ever played. The rabbi got a hole-in-one on the toughest hole on the course and then again on the next hole.

Moses turned to God and asked, ‘I thought you were going to punish him. Do you call this punishment?’

God replied, ‘Who can he tell?’