A guy goes to Las Vegas to gamble and he loses all his money.

He doesn’t even have enough for a cab, but he flagged one down anyway. He explained to the driver that he would pay him back next time and gave him his phone number, but the driver told him, “Get the fuck out of my cab.”

He walked all the way to the airport and got home.

Some times rolls by and he decides to go back to Vegas again and this time he wins BIG.

He gets his bags and is ready for the airport with all his new winnings.

There are a line of cabs and at the very end he sees the driver from last time that kicked him out.

He stood for a moment thinking how can he get his revenge on that driver.

So, he gets in the first cab.

“How much is it to the airport?” he asks.

The driver says, “$15.”

“Great, how much is it for a blowjob on the way there?”

The cab driver says, “Get the fuck out of my cab.”

So he goes to the next one and asks the same thing.

“How much to airport?”

“$15.”

“Great, how much for a blowjob on the way there?”

And that cab driver also tells him to get the fuck out of his cab.

He does this all the way down the line of drivers, each one kicking him out.

He finally gets to the last driver, the one from his last trip.

He asks, “Hey how much to the airport?”

Driver responds, “$15.”

The guy hands him $15 and says, “Great let’s go!”

And so the driver leaves, slowly passing all the other drivers who are staring out their window while the guy in the back smiles back with a thumbs up.

There is a horse in the hospital … again. And this time the horse is wilder than ever. Chaos appears to be the norm these days. We are living in interesting times.

Mrs. Meloni comes to visit her son Antonio for dinner.

Antonio lives with a female roommate, Maria.

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how pretty her son’s roommate is.

That evening, while watching the two interact, she starts to wonder if there was more between Antonio and his roommate than meets the eye.

Reading his mom’s thoughts, Antonio volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, But I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates.”

About a week later, Maria came to Antonio saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?”

“Well, I doubt it, but I’ll email her, just to be sure.” So Antonio sat down and wrote an email:

Dear mama,

I’m not saying that you “did” take the sugar bowl from my house. I’m not saying that you “did not” take it. But we cannot find it. It has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Perhaps you know something about our missing sugar bowl ?

Your loving son,
Antonio.

Several days later, Antonio received a response email from his mom which read:

Dear son,

I’m not saying that you “do” sleep with Maria. And I’m not saying that you “do not” sleep with her. But if she was sleeping in her own bed, you would have found the sugar bowl by now.

Your loving mama.

Moral of the story: never try bullshit your mama.

Not sure about any of you, but that was one intense first week … a sign of things to come. At least some dirty jokes were flowing. As long as we can laugh then all will be ok.