Bear on the Roof

A man wakes up one morning, in Alaska, to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the Yellow Pages and sure enough, there’s an ad for ‘Bear Removers’. He calls the number, and the bear remover says he’ll be over in 30 minutes.

The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He’s got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.

‘What are you going to do?’ the home owner asks.

‘I’m going to put this ladder up against the roof, and then I’m going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go.

The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van.’

He hands the shotgun to the home owner.
‘What’s the shotgun for?’ asks the home owner.

‘If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog!’