It is a calm, quiet night in Kyiv. I imagine most people are fast asleep. I didn’t sleep much. Yesterday was a stressful and intense day of work and I was over tired and over wired. I have been up for a few hours. At 9:30 am I will leave the Nest to go to a meeting. Another busy day ahead. And yes, life goes on, bombs and all. But it is anything but normal.

The night before was the opposite of a calm and quiet night. Reading the local news updates, the Wednesday attack was one of the biggest yet on Ukraine’s capital, and it lasted 10 hours. I was in the basement shelter until the sun came up and then went to bed at 5 am and woke up two hours later, and started to work. It was a long, busy day yesterday.

The attack on Wednesday night was hundreds of Shahed drones and there were also a bunch of ballistic missiles. It is all insane, and everyone is so exhausted. The thing about these killer drones is that they are not like the size of toy drones like you see in the shops. The Shahed is huge. When one of these things get knocked out of the sky you don’t want to be down below. The falling debris can be lethal.

How can this be happening in this modern world?! It is pure evil. Ukraine will survive and thrive one day. But there is a lot more pain still to come. The attacks on Kyiv are getting bigger and more frequent. Please God this insane war comes to an end. It will, but not anytime soon.

I am on route to Kyiv. What used to be a 3 hour flight just a few years ago is now a 26 hour journey.

I am going “home” for a couple of weeks. I was in Kyiv last just over 2 months ago. The war is still raging on and the attacks on Kyiv, and other Ukrainian cities, have intensified. I know I will be spending many nights not sleeping. I am not unfamiliar with spending nights in a bomb shelter, but the scale of the recent attacks sounds truly terrifying. From all our friends and family in Kyiv we get updates when the strikes happen and we get the air raid siren alert on our phones, so we are always in the loop. But again, the scale of the attacks have increased and the bombardment from Thursday night last week was the biggest one yet. I am not scared. But I am a bit anxious.

My luggage is always packed full when I travel to Ukraine, and when I leave Kyiv my luggage is pretty light. There is a reason for this. I am putting stuff in our home. Books, Bunster things we want to keep (that he has outgrown), and other bits and pieces. I know it may sound a bit crazy, but Kyiv is the place I call home. Of course, nothing is simple or easy now and I know it is going to be stressful being at home.

Everyone in Kyiv, and throughout Ukraine, is exhausted. And the war has no end in sight. So much has changed over the past 3 years and so much is still changing. I was going to share some thoughts around this from my last visit home but I am still thinking about everything. The mood in the past month has shifted again, as the intensity and frequency of the attacks on Ukraine’s capital have increased. Russia’s evil knows no limits and Putin will not stop, unless he is stopped. And of course, Donald Trump is not making things any easier. It is all so unfair and tragic. It is a tragedy not just for Ukraine (although Ukrainians are suffering and are traumatized) but for the whole world. And if you think that this war cannot develop further and spread, then you are dreaming (as I once was).

I have a lot to do in Kyiv, and if all goes according to our work schedule then next month we will go live with our film series project “Kyiv of Mine”. We will launch it on YouTube around Ukraine’s Independence Day. We are all hoping this storytelling adventure makes a difference.

We told the Bunster yesterday that I was going to Kyiv. He knows he is from Ukraine but he doesn’t understand where I am heading. Thank God. But he did cry a few times during the day and said that he is going to miss daddy. When I put him to bed last night he sounded sad. I promised him I will be back soon. Marta and the Bunster need me. And I need them.

Most people we know in Kyiv used to sometimes be a bit casual when the air raid sirens went off but not recently. The scale of the attacks and the evilness of it all, has gone up. I know I will be spending many long nights not sleeping, in the shelter. I know I have to have my “go bag” (passport, phone, laptop, wallet, power bank, bottle of water) ready and I will not mess around.

I am currently in Poland. The journey started in the small hours this morning. If all goes according to plan I should get to Kyiv around 10 am tomorrow.

Marta and I often wonder if the Bunster will ever get to know the place he is from. I have faith. I believe he will. He spent the first year and a half of his life at home in Kyiv but of course he doesn’t remember. And he doesn’t know about the evil in the world. Thank God.

Some of the best memories of my life are in Kyiv. It is a soulful, magical place. I hope the Bun man gets to experience all of this one day. I hope this evil war ends this year.

The Bunster does not stop delighting us. Every parent we chat with says the same thing, that this time, between the ages of 4 and 6, is a lot of fun. They are right. What comes of the Bun’s mouth is often just so funny and sometimes pretty amazing. He is a learning machine. And he has a sense of humour, with a mischievous streak, and he enjoys magic.

This morning he did some kind of a magic trick, where he crossed his legs and his left and right shoes changed positions. He had has us smiling. This little man likes to entertain people and to make us all laugh.

I have enjoyed learning magic for over a decade now. Because of the war in Ukraine and all the trauma I didn’t spend much time learning any new magic during the past few years, but lately I have started again. The Bunster has a lot to do with this. He is starting to understand things more and he is keen to learn how to perform some magic too. And he loves storytelling.

I was reading something a magician wrote a few days ago: When it feels impossible, think like a magician.

Imagine someone asks two people, a magician and a non-magician, to make a lady float.

The non-magician says, “That’s impossible.”

The magician thinks, “What would that look like?” And then creates an illusion where it appears the woman is floating.

The non-magician responds, “But she’s not really floating.”

The magician says: “That was never the point.”

It’s a powerful reminder: while some people stop at “impossible,” creators, magicians, see possibilities. We ask different questions. We build what others don’t expect. We say, “yes, and…”

So if you’re facing a roadblock this week, think like a magician. Be bold. Be inventive. You have a set of skills that others don’t.

There is a lot of wisdom in this text. I am not a magician but I do enjoy the art of magic. It is a very cool hobby, and there are endless avenues to explore. And as the Bunster gets a bit older he is going to be easier to teach some cool magic tricks to. I can see he is very keen.

I hope the Bunster embraces the art of magic as he grows older. The world sure could do with more magic, especially in these darker times. And also, as this magician articulated above, this art form also inspires people to think outside of the box.

The Bunster is a very loved little boy. Marta and I pour everything into him, and we can see how confident and enthusiastic he always is. It makes our souls smile. The Bunster, child and all, has a lot of wisdom to offer us adults too. As this image below captures. This is what makes the Bun man happy. To spend time with mommy and daddy. The Bunster is a magical little man.

I am getting closer to a life of luxury. By the end of this year I aim to be as offline as much can be. I have not had Facebook or Instagram for a few years now, and only use LinkedIn and Twitter to read news updates and perspectives about Ukraine. But it is not just social media, it is online in general. I want to only check WhatsApp and email once a week and eventually once a month – I am on a path to reach this destination. Heaven on earth. Quite ironic, as I was part of the ISP industry in some other lifetime.

The online world is not the dream we all thought it could be. Go to the comments section, for example, on a social media posting, and there is often so much negativity. It seems like people are constantly projecting their anger onto other people. Because they are hidden behind something and they feel a safety in that. All these armchair angry warriors. Toxic.

To be offline is to be happier. Maybe I am wrong, but this is where I am at.