The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that : “When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.”

However, in government (and in corporate America) more advanced strategies are often employed … such as :

1. Applying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride horses.
5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
6. Reclassifying the dead horse as living impaired.
7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.
9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase dead horse’s performance.
10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse’s performance.
11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than live horses.
12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.
13. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.

Wife’s diary :

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much.

I asked him what was wrong; He said, ‘Nothing..’ I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior. I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too.’

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

Husband’s diary :

A five putt … who the hell five putts ?!

This guy comes home from work and sits in his favourite chair, he says to his wife, “Honey, it is about to start, please can you get me a beer.”

A short while later after finishing the beer, he asks again “It is about to start very soon, please can you get me one more beer.”

A short while later he goes again “It is about to start any minute, please can you get me just one more beer.”

A few moments later he goes “It is going to start any second, please please could you get me just one last beer.”

And she goes, “I have 3 kids to bath, a meal to cook for you, a house to clean …”

And he goes, “Oy vey, it has already started.”