Category Archives: Words of wisdom

Quotations, wise tales and more …

The leads …

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Tommy O’Connor went to confession and said, “Forgive me father for I have sinned.”

“What have you done Tommy O’Connor?”

“I had sex with a girl.”

“Who was it, Tommy?”

“I cannot tell you father, please forgive me for my sin.”

“Was it Mary Margaret Sullivan?”

“No father, please forgive me for my sin but I cannot tell you who it was.”

“Was it Catherine Mary McKenzie?”

“No father, please forgive me for my sin.”

“Well then it has to be, Sarah Martha O’Keefe.”

“No father, please forgive me, I cannot tell you who it was.”

“Okay, Tommy go say 5 Hail Mary’s and 4 Our Fathers and you will be absolved of your sin.”

So Tommy walked out to the pews where his friend Joseph was waiting. “What did ya get?” asked Joseph.

“Well I got 5 hail Mary’s, 4 Our Fathers, and 3 good leads.”

Spot on !

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An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.” The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?” “Oh, I don’t know,” said the atheist. “How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?” as he smiled smugly. “Okay,” she said. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?” The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.” To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don’t know s-h-i-t?”

Punctuation

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An English professor wrote the words:
“A woman without her man is nothing”
On the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.
All of the males in the class wrote:
“A woman, without her man, is nothing.”
All the females in the class wrote:
“A woman: without her, man is nothing.”

If you can …

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If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
If you can overlook when people take things out on you when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
If you can do all these things,
THEN YOU ARE PROBABLY THE FAMILY DOG.

Why dogs live less than humans ?

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The answer from a 6 year old …

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn’t do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker ‘s family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker’s Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.

Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ”I know why.”

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I’d never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the way I try and live.

He said, ”People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life — like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?” The Six-year-old continued,

”Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.”

Live simply.

Love generously.

Care deeply.

Speak kindly.

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you’re not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!

Author : Unknown

I would send you a shorter email, but I don’t have time

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We all overcomplicate our lives. I am starting to understand what constitutes a genius more and more. I think the smartest people know how to keep things simple. A genius is often described as someone who lives in their own world. Perhaps we can interpret this to mean that this is someone who just does not buy into all the distractions found in the mediocre mainstream. And yes, this is a whole other discussion, so let me keep things simple here. After all, this text here is about simplicity.

I actually heard someone say the other day “I would send you a shorter email but I just don’t have time.” And this got me thinking. It takes time to simplify things. It takes time to get to the point. It seems to be easier to waffle on and on.

I get many film scripts sent to me, but when I ask for a one paragraph description or a one page summary I get this silence on the other end of the phone. An interesting paradox indeed.

We were always taught in school about keeping it simple. There was that expression “KISS” which stands for “Keep It Simple, Stupid”. We all tend to fill our lives with so many time-wasting distractions. Perhaps this is what gives us comfort. God forbid we have to deal with real issues.

So, without confusing anyone any further, or myself for that matter, let me keep today’s rambling short and simple. It is simplicity we ultimately all need to strive for. It is something I am trying to achieve in my own life. I hope I get it right. I need to.

Viva the independents !

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My mother always asks me why I work so hard. But I don’t see it as work. If you love it then it is not work. I do love what I do, even those most days end in frustration and sleepless nights, but I look forward to each new day, to carry on the adventure.

Yes, I love what I do, but it doesn’t always love me back. Film making, like writing software, is a creative process. I can speak from both of these perspectives: when you are in the zone there is nothing quite like it. There are many frustrations and there are always things to fix and change. But when it all comes together there is no better feeling. It is magic.

Developing software and film production have two very different trajectories. Software can grow and improve and become popular over time. A film, on the other hand, has an opening weekend (if you get a theatrical release that is) and this generally determines its path. If the opening weekend is not fantastic then the outlook won’t be good. I know, I am stating the bleeding obvious. But most people don’t seem to get this. You often hear indie film makers say things like “Maybe word of mouth will kick in by next weekend.” No ways. If you don’t open with solid numbers you will lose. It is that brutal.

This weekend again there will be another bunch of Hollywood movies that open and fight for supremacy. And any indie film releasing will have to contend with the hype and attention that all the new big studio product will receive. Not easy at all. In my view, there is nothing harder.

We must constantly remind ourselves that it’s just a movie; no one dies.