Please, take good care of yourself this holiday season!

A recent joint study conducted by the Department of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol related.

This means that the remaining 77% are caused by jerks who drink bottled water, Starbucks, soft drinks, fruit juice, energy drinks, and crap like that.

Therefore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol. They cause three times as many accidents.

This message was put out there because we care about your safety.