Conundrum

The definition of the word “conundrum” is : something that is puzzling or confusing.

Here are six conundrums of socialism in the United States of America :

1. America is capitalist and greedy – yet half of the population is subsidized.

2. Half of the population is subsidized – yet they think they are victims.

3. They think they are victims – yet their representatives run the government.

4. Their representatives run the government – yet the poor keep getting poorer.

5. The poor keep getting poorer – yet they have things that people in other countries only dream about.

6. They have things that people in other countries only dream about – yet they want America to be more like those other countries.

Who invented sex ?

A Greek and Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the superior culture.

The Greek says, “We have the Parthenon.”
The Italian says, “We have the Colosseum.”
The Greek says “We had great mathematicians.”
The Italian says “We had the Roman Empire” and so on and so on and …

Then Greek Says: “We invented sex.” The Italian says:”That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women.”

Murphy’s law

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him.

He’d never been to church in his life. After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, “Murphy , I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?”

Murphy said, “I got to be honest wid ya Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat During Mass and figured he would leave it in da back of the church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn’s hat.”

The priest said, “Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn’t steal McGlynn’s hat. What changed your mind?”

Murphy replied, “Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments I decided that I didn’t need to steal McGlynn’s hat after all.”

With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said, “After I talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’ ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in hell, eh?”

Murphy slowly shook his head. “No, Father, after ya talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery, ‘ I remembered where I left me hat.”